


Neighbor Before Home

by byakuzee



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bad use of mailing, Lion King references, M/M, Made up books, Made up cults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-05 04:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byakuzee/pseuds/byakuzee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say that before you look for a place to live in, you should check for who lives next door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Music, Mails, Electricity and Water Bills.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ad_Astra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ad_Astra/gifts).



> Just a humble exchange fic.

"Can you lower the music? I have work tomorrow," Tsuna said the moment the door he has been knocking for an hour was finally opened.

He had to wake up at four in the morning just so he wouldn't get stuck in the traffic and be late for work, a thing that his boss, Reborn, would not take lightly  _at all._ But no, just when he set himself to sleep at nine, the loud music coming from the next door apartment made sure he wouldn't get the slightest amount of rest. Tsuna waited for an hour before he decided that enough was enough and his neighbor needed to be informed with this issue.

The said neighbor, however, didn't open his door until an hour of knocking had passed. "Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"

_And he has the galls to ask._  "Like I said, I want you to lower the music."

His neighbor merely raised an eyebrow at his request before he shut door on him without the slightest care.

Tsuna sighed irritably and returned to his apartment dragging his defeat, already thinking about the torture his boss would inflict on him tomorrow.

* * *

"Your stupid cat ripped my mail again today," Mukuro said the moment the door he has been knocking for a few minutes was opened.

His neighbor, leaning against the door frame and petting the said stupid cat, looked merely amused. "Really now? What did I tell you about ripping people's mails, Natsu?" The cat meowed cutely in response. "I'll forgive this time because you're cute."

_I didn't forgive him,_  Mukuro wanted to remark but then his neighbor turned towards him and said with a laugh. "It won't happen again."

And before Mukuro could protest that he said the same thing the five times before this one, the door was closed.

* * *

Tsuna was thinking of making some tea for himself after spending a long while sorting hundreds of documents when the lights turned suddenly off.

_Mukuro again,_  he thought somewhat hatefully; his neighbor from hell liked to use the fact that he can switch all the power off in his apartment (this building was weirdly structured) with a simple switch flick these days, and it was getting ridiculous.

So, eyes narrowed and annoyed, Tsuna decided that he and his neighbor needed to talk,  _badly._

Only to trip on something as he was heading towards the door, and after that, tripping on every single item his apartment had.

The next day, Mukuro was surprised to see him bandaged all over and handing him a hospital bill. "What in the world happened to you?"

Tsuna really wanted to punch him right now. "Don't ever turn the power off again."

Apparently, Mukuro was in a good mood; because he took the bill and chuckled amusedly. "Alright, I won't do it again."

Satisfied, Tsuna turned to leave.

_Now let me think up of a way that I could skip wor-_

"You should stop limping like that though, people would get  _ideas_  about us."

Tsuna was going to punch him right then, but the fact that he  _somehow_  tripped on the stairs stopped him from doing that.

"You shouldn't get so flustered that easily, too," Mukuro called out helpfully.

Every bone in his body now being officially damaged, Tsuna cursed him.

* * *

 _Ah, nothing is better than taking a shower after an exhausting night,_  Mukuro mused as he blissfully massaged his head, the smell of the tropical shampoo brand he always bought surrounding him.

Suddenly, the water was cut off.

_Tsunayoshi again,_  he thought hatefully as he wrapped a towel on his waist, not bothering to wear anything else as he headed towards his annoying neighbor's apartment, violently knocking the door upon reaching it.

After two long minutes, the door was opened revealing a sleepy Tsunayoshi. "What is it, Mukuro? It's 2 a.m. Go to sleep for God's sake."

"I would if you didn't close my water tab, how many times do I have to tell you not to close it?" Mukuro spat angrily, getting his wet bangs away from his eyes.

"Well, I wouldn't have closed it if you had paid for it. Either it stays closed or you pay your water bill, because I'm not paying for it anymore," Tsuna shot back, getting more awake along with that.

"Alright, I'll pay for it."  _The damn bastard wasn't that kind after all._  "Just open it now, I need to take a shower."

Tsuna only smiled. "Don't worry about it, as much as I  _appreciate_  the sight of you half naked with shampoo bubbles all over your body, I can't afford to have you knocking my door at 2 a.m. again. You'll find water running when you return to your apartment."

Mukuro stared with shock as his neighbor closed the door.

_Did he just... hit on me?_


	2. Of Wars, Cats, Kings and Books.

Sawada Tsunayoshi and Rokudo Mukuro became neighbors two years ago when Mukuro moved into Namimori town. Some would wonder why the Italian moved into a small town all the way in Japan, others would wonder why the guy had a Japanese name in the first place.

Tsuna didn't wonder about any of that though, he was too busy getting a hold on the last bits of his sanity.

You see, he and Mukuro weren't on good terms. Scratch that, they were kind of having a war with each other that went on for the next two years, making all the people living in their apartment building sigh tiredly whenever an argument between them broke out, probably because Mukuro was being a cheap bastard again.

_Why can't they just sleep with each other already?_

* * *

When Tsuna helped an elder lady living in the second floor of the apartment building with her grocery, he didn't expect that she would invite him over. He also didn't expect for her to make him sit and listen to her ramblings about her thousand cats, forcing him to stay until she was finished with introducing them all to him.

Two hours had passed.

She was still introducing the first cat.

He needed sleep.

_Badly._

So you can't blame him for being so overjoyed when the bell had rang. He thanked his savior inwardly as he got up and headed towards the door, eagerly offering for the old lady to open it (and then stealthily get out while at it.)

It was the perfect crim- err  _escape_.

Except, his savior turned out to be Mukuro, who engaged in a confused blinking contest with him upon opening the door.

In his shock, Tsuna forgot to run away. A thing that made him curse as the old lady dragged both him and Mukuro inside, locking the door with ten keys that she took with her as she went to the kitchen to make them some tea.

The two just stayed there, surrounded by cats from all sides.

"Why are you even here anyway?" Tsuna asked after a minute of silence.

"She said that she'll invite me over chocolate chip cookies, I'm weak against those." Looking at the grim face of his neighbor and the fact that there was a cat stabbing his legs with its claws, Mukuro grimaced. "Though I think going along with her was a very bad idea, huh?"

"Very." Tsuna nodded sagely.

The old lady returned with tea, milk and chocolate chip cookies then.

In addition to nine hundred and ninety nine cat biographies.

"How can she have so many cats? Where did she get them?" Mukuro whispered after three hours had passed.

"I don't know, I don't  _want_  to know," Tsuna whispered back. "What number are we on now?"

"Three."

Tsuna sobbed.

Mukuro patted his back in understanding.

It was then that the phone rang, and the old lady went to pick it up.  _And what do you know? The phone was in another room._

Tsuna and Mukuro immediately ran to the fire escape, not wasting this golden chance. Only to see that the stairs leading from this apartment to the top floors were locked up and unreachably high above them.

"If only I could reach there, I could pick-lock it easily," Mukuro looked up thoughtfully.

_I'm totally changing my door locks if I got out of here._  "I'll carry you, make it quick," Tsuna said, kneeling a bit so the other could stable himself.

Mukuro stared at him for a minute before he shrugged and did as he was told.  _Now I've seen everything._

_Okay, didn't expect for him to be this heavy._  "Y-You like sweets  _very_  much, huh?"

Mukuro's eyes narrowed as he was trying to reach out to the lock and shifted upwards. "I don't like what you're implying. Go righ- yes perfect, now stop."

As Mukuro was adjusting his position, Tsuna had another dilemma other than his neighbor's weight. "Mukuro, your crotch is in front of my face."

"Really now?" Mukuro's voice sounded too pleased for his liking. "Sorry." He didn't sound sorry  _at all._

And the next thing he knows, he wasn't carrying Mukuro anymore.

Instead, his neighbor was above him and getting the stairs upwards, leaving him trapped in the fire escape all alone.

"Long live the king," Mukuro called out before he vanished.

Tsuna only stared in disbelief.

"There you are!" the old lady exclaimed before dragging him inside,  _again._

_That... utter... bastard!_

* * *

"May I help you?" Mukuro, eyebrows raised in annoyance, asked the group that was looking at him in awe and standing in his doorway.

"It's really him! He truly exists!" One of the group shouted suddenly, causing the others to uproar in agreement and glee.

And before Mukuro could ask about what the hell did they mean, the group was carrying him out of the apartment building saying, "All hail the Pineapple King!"

_What the actual fuck?!_

And as the group passed by Tsuna, Mukuro looked at the knowing smirk he had and knew that he was the one responsible. "You'll pay for this, Sawada Tsunayoshi!"

"Long live the king," Tsuna only called out before he burst into a laughing fit.

* * *

The problem when you get one pizza order to the sixth floor of an apartment building is that two people would always say that they were the ones who ordered it, and then a fight would always break out.

"I ordered that, Tsunayoshi."

"I'm sorry to tell you that you didn't, I ordered three large pizzas for my friends' gathering, and this fits with my order."

"Well guess what? I ordered three large pizzas too, my gang will arrive this night."

_See?_

Clearing his throat, the pizza delivery guy suggested, "Why don't you two make out and the first one who makes the other moan will be the winner? We'll call them: The Moaning Games."

The two stared at him.

Then they stared at each other, looking as though they were seriously considering the idea.

Then they stared at him again.

Then they stared at each other.

"You take the pizza."

The pizza delivery guy, name tag: Dino, looked as the two split ways, probably going to bring the pizza themselves.

_It worked with me and Yamamoto!_  He inwardly defended.

* * *

"What is the meaning of this?" Tsuna asked immediately when Mukuro opened the door.

Mukuro looked at the book titled:  _"Virgin At 24: How To Change That In 3 Days"_  before he laughed. "I thought that I could be at help."

"The mail man looked at me with pity when he gave me this. He even said that he could hook me up with someone tonigh- this is not funny, Mukuro!" Tsuna noted, not that his neighbor could hear him; for he was rolling on the floor and laughing his head off. "I'm not, you know?"

"You're not what?"

"A virgin."

"Oh." Mukuro only nodded.

* * *

The next day, Tsuna received another package.

A book titled:  _"Therapy For The Delusional: How To Accept The Fact that You're 24 And Still A Virgin"_.

Damn it, Mukuro!


	3. Of Bars, Soups, Fires and Apartments.

Now Sai, the bartender of the neighborhood's small bar, wasn't the nosiest of people. He saw people drinking around and acting all kinds of crazy and he didn't lift a single finger to stop them, it wasn't his job to do so.

But there were two certain customers who he looked forward to see every Saturday, mainly because watching them interact was very amusing.

And speak about the devils, they entered.

One was Sawada Tsunayoshi, an over-worked office manager who always complained about his co-workers' lack of sanity (though when Sai asked to him about why he didn't switch jobs if they were that hard to deal with, Tsunayoshi answered him with a small yet utterly fond smile and Sai just knew...)

The other was Rokudo Mukuro, a weird-ass Italian man (why did he have a Japanese name again?) who worked as a freelance artist, he frequented here to make fun of people, Sai suspected, seeing that he rarely ordered anything and just settled for sitting there and observing.

These two always came to him separately, but then they notice each other and hilarity ensues.

At first, they ask what the other was doing here.

And then they accuse each other of stalking.

And then somehow they get into a drinking contest, a contest that Mukuro fails miserably at by the way.

When they get drunk out of their minds, they turn into best friends. It was absolutely priceless to hear their vows of friendship, really,  _really_  priceless (if he ever needed to blackmail one of them, he had a lifetime worth of material).

Finally, they make out.

Now for two people who claim to get annoyed with each other, they sure are passionate about sticking their tongues in each other's throat.

Next Saturday, they come here again, and it's the same story all over.

Sometimes, he thinks that they're doing this on purpose.

* * *

These past few days had been relatively quiet, Mukuro mused.

And by 'quiet' he means the fact that he didn't have an argument with his neighbor for days.

Now you can call him crazy but he kind of...  _missed_  that, what's the fun in living here if he couldn't annoy Tsunayoshi?

_Maybe I'm drunk?_

Nonetheless, five minutes later, he found himself in front of Tsunayoshi's doorstep. He was about to ring the doorbell when he noticed that the door was open, frowning in confusion and slight worry (not that he would ever admit it), he entered.

Mukuro then noticed that all the lights in the apartment were turned off, which was strange because Tsunayoshi didn't look like someone who liked the dark.

_Could it be that he's..._

Before he continued that train of thought, he heard a faint noise coming from a closed room, probably Tsunayoshi's bedroom.

Wary, he slowly walked towards it, preparing himself for any outcome. He saw a figure lying in bed upon entering, a figure that was sneezing rapidly.

_And just when I thought that you got murdered or something,_  finding the switch, he turned on the lights and Tsunayoshi hissed in pain.

"Oh God, why are you even here? Turn the lights off," his neighbor groaned irritably, but Mukuro didn't pay him any heed and just went to pick up a chair with Natsu, who was lazily sprawled on the floor before now circling around him excitedly.

"Bad case of flu?" his answer was a coughing fit. "Thought so..."

"Just leave me here to di- what are you doing?" Tsunayoshi asked when he stood up from his chair and fluffed his pillow.

"Playing nurse," Mukuro answered simply. "Where do you keep your pots?"

"In the drawer next to the ove- wait, why are you even doing this?" the brunet was looking thoroughly confused right now, much to Mukuro's amusement.

"I'm bored and I don't have anything to do, now rest until I make something warm for you." The look of absolute disbelief on Tsunayoshi's face really made his day.

* * *

For a week, Mukuro kept coming over (the door couldn't be locked for some reason, now that he thought about it, changing its locks was a really bad idea). Always making chicken soup and making sure that he ate all of it (he told him that his experience on how to take care of sick people came from Fran, a brat he used to babysit once upon a time).

By the third day, Tsuna stopped questioning him and just took whatever he did silently, somewhat glad that someone was taking care of him (he told his friends not to come over, in fear that they would catch whatever he got and for the fact that they kind of over-did things with their constant worry, he still remembered the time when his foot got broken, half of his former apartment got destroyed after all).

"I think I can go to work tomorrow," Tsuna said after he finished his bowl of chicken soup. "You don't need to take care of me anymore."

Mukuro nodded in acceptance as he took the bowl from him, standing up to wash it in the kitchen.

"Mukuro," he called out before the other left the room.

"I don't know why you did this, maybe you wanted to see me at my weakest state and laugh or something, maybe it was for your own amusement?" Now Mukuro looked at him, eyebrows raised in question about what was his point of this.

"I... I guess I'm saying thank you." Tsuna smiled hesitantly. "I'll take care of you if you got sick in exchange."

As a response, Mukuro snorted and then, for Tsuna's utter shock, smiled back at him. "You're welcome."

* * *

When he said that he'll take care of him whenever he got sick...

_"You're one minute late."_

He didn't mean it as a slave.

Sick Mukuro was as demanding as a five year old, and sometimes, his demands seemed highly suspicious.

_"Cook me some filet mignon."_

_"Carry me to the living room."_

_"Massage my back."_

_"Bathe me."_

_"Undress me."_

_"Tell me a bedtime story."_

He was regretting ever feeling grateful to the guy.

* * *

Tsuna slowly opened his eyes after a deep slumber, only to see a pretty lady wearing an eye-patch sitting next to him.

The pretty lady looked happy when she saw that he was awake. "You're okay, thank God..."

Confused, he looked around only to see himself on a hospital bed,  _huh?_

"You've been unconscious for three days," the pretty lady explained, as if she felt his confusion. "A fire broke out in the apartment building you were living in, don't worry though, everyone is okay," she added when she saw his features twist in worry.

"You have a very nice cat." She smiled kindly, pointing towards her lap where Natsu was sleeping.

Sighing in relief, Tsuna asked, "Did you live there? I don't believe that I saw you before..."

"No, I don't live here at all. I was living in Tokyo until two days ago."

Her answer only got him more confused. "I don't want to be rude but... who are you?"

"I guess an introduction is in order, huh?" Tsuna nodded. "My name is Chrome," the pretty lady answered, "I'm one of Mukuro's friends."

_Mukuro?_  "Is he okay? The fire didn't get to him, right?"

Chrome chuckled softly. "He's alright thanks to you."

And now he's confused again. "What?"

"You see, Mukuro can be stubborn when he is passionate about something, in this case, his artwork. When the fire broke out, he refused to let any of his works go destroyed. You knocked him out and carried him outside along with Natsu, at least that's what your other neighbors had told me."

"Oh..." Tsuna said only, not sure about how he could reply to that.

"When I learned that it was you who saved him, I had to pay my gratitude to you." The grateful smile Chrome had on her lips was really embarrassing him. "Mukuro is someone important to me, important to  _us_ , and we'll be forever thankful for what you did."

Tsuna only smiled at her in return, and asked her to tell him more.

Chrome told him that she, along with others, befriended Mukuro when they were all in Kokuyo middle. In fact, he was the one who got them all together. He helped them through tough times and so they kind of looked up to him in a way.

And now that they were all adults, they wanted to prove themselves to him and work to achieve their goals and dreams. She told him that she worked as a fashion designer in Tokyo while the others worked in other countries like Italy and France, that's why she was the first one to get here after the fire broke out.

"He talks about you, you know?" Chrome said, looking amused. "Ever since he moved into your apartment building, I felt that he wasn't as bored and lonely as he was when we all left. I think he likes you even."

"I'm not too sure about that." Tsuna laughed sheepishly.

"Take care of him," Chrome requested, eyes looking hopeful. "I know that he can be difficult sometimes but take care of him, until we all return."

Tsuna really wanted to say that he and Mukuro didn't get along, that he wasn't the right person to request that favor from, but he found himself saying, "Alright."

Chrome smiled a pretty smile then.

* * *

"Where do you even get these books?" Tsuna asked immediately when Mukuro opened the door. They somehow found themselves neighbors when they moved to a different apartment building.

Mukuro looked at the book in his hold that was titled: " _Not A Virgin (you totally are) At 24: How To Hook Up With Your Sexy Neighbor In 3 Days"_  before he smirked. "I thought that I could be at help."

"The mail-man gave me a thumbs up, and I'm not a virgin by the way."

"Prove it," Mukuro simply replied.

And then Tsuna sighed and, surprisingly, stepped into his apartment and did.

* * *

"Where the hell did you learn that from?"

"You really don't want to know."


End file.
